The Intervention Tool in Action: Teaching Kids About Racism

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“I just hate it that sometimes, Black kids at school bully nice white kids.”
Biff had sent Lucas in from the garage where they were watching a movie, unsure of how to address this comment. Unlike Biff, I was thrilled to have this conversation with Lucas. I worked my way through my trusty steps.

1. Ask a question. “Tell me a little bit more about when you see this happen at school. How does it make you feel?” I keep my heart rate down so I can stay calm. Kids sense anxiety like it’s their superpower.

2. Find commonality. “It sounds like when you see anyone being hurt, it reminds you of being hurt. Is that right? I hate seeing anyone get bullied. I understand why you would notice that.” Relating in to his perspective helps us both hold the space as sacred.

3. Share impact. “I wonder what it might feel like to you if you were Black, and heard a white kid say that Black kids are bullies. How might that make you feel?” I’m building his empathy without him even knowing it.

4. Educate. “One thing that our brains do is make connections even when there aren’t any. For example, are there white kids who bully other white kids? Sometimes if one person of color does something, our brains tells us that ALL people of color do that thing. Isn’t that silly?”

5. Appreciate. “Hey— it’s okay to notice things, and I’m so glad you came to me. You can always talk to me. I’ll never get mad at you, and I’m so proud you’re able to listen and are open to learning.” Closing on a positive cements the learning. This is the science of change.

I don’t have the time to do all five steps every time I notice racism, and it’s harder with grownups. But it’s worth it when I’m able to actually do something effective with my anger. There is a time to smother racism— to cancel it. And there is a time to dig it up from the very root. That is what I can do. It’s not a method that works for everyone... but it works for me.

(By the way, this is the type of tool I teach in my antiracism coaching sessions.)

A post shared by Trystan Reese (@biffandi) on Jul 2, 2020 at 10:52pm PDT

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