Self-Advocacy Intervention Tool

Mar 22

When to use it:

There are times when you, as an ally, feel called to step in and intervene when you see an incident of racial bias. In these moments, you may find yourself tensing up because of what’s occurred or because you plan to intervene, and that can make the conversation difficult for you and whoever you’re intervening with. Having a tool to use in these situations can help! If you aren’t able to intervene in the moment and plan to have a conversation after-the-fact, it can be helpful to roleplay the intervention with a friend so you get used to accessing your resources in times of stress.

How to use it:

It can feel frustrating to “have” to plan an intervention and to have to map it out strategically. But when you’re acting in allyship, it’s not your job to stay stuck in frustration-- it’s your job to spur behavior change against racism. This tool is one way you can inspire behavior change and motivate others to act towards an anti-racist world. If you are acting out of allyship for a person of color, work to discern whether they would like you to intervene on their behalf or if they would rather handle it themselves.

The Steps:

1. Ask a question.

Start by asking a clarifying question that can help you better assess the point of view or intention of the person you’re working with. This helps the subject of the intervention stay open to your feedback, and helps you stay connected to them as a human. Sometimes, having to explain themselves is all the intervention they need--hearing their own words can often alert someone to the fact that they’ve engaged in problematic behavior. It’s also possible that there is a true misunderstanding; allies can perceive injustice where none exists, so getting clarity can help make sure your intervention is necessary and effective. Make sure your inquiry isn’t pointed-- you aren’t being sarcastic or passive-aggressive; you are truly seeking to understand their motivation and ensure that your intervention is effective.

“I don’t think I understand. Can you say a bit more about that statement?”

2. Find points of commonality.

If possible, look for opportunities to relate to the person on a human level. Try to assess what core (positive) value may be at the heart of what they’re saying. If they express support for the police, perhaps they value feeling and being safe. If they show reluctance to accept other cultures, maybe they are proud of who they are and what they’ve accomplished and don’t want those achievements to be diminished. If they are defensive about being called out, they may want to be a good person who is committed to kindness.

“It sounds like you’re worried about ______. That’s something I think about all the time.”

“I’m a parent too, and I want to make sure that my kids are learning _____ as well.”

“I was confused by this conversation when I first heard it! It can be really challenging to hear _______.”

3. Share the impact that their action could have on others.

It can be tempting to universalize the situation, especially if you’re feeling activated. Choose one specific reason that their actions or words can be construed as racist, rather than simply saying, “That’s racist!”. Many people truly don’t understand that they’ve stepped in a racist term or ideology.

“You know, it’s my understanding that the word you’re using has been wielded as a weapon against people of color for a very long time.”

“I’m not sure if you meant it that way, but that kind of overgeneralization about Black people can be very harmful.”

4. Engage in sharing/understanding/teaching.

Stay present with the person you’re working with. Try to imagine yourself walking alongside them down this path-- you are neither leading nor following. Truly listen for understanding and remember that we all inhabit different communities. Tap into where you were early in YOUR journey. What worked for you as you came to learn about and care about racial justice? Taking a moment to explain more fully helps them internalize the “why” of the intervention, which can help ensure better behavior in the future.

The first three steps should have given you a better idea about what kind of engagement will be most productive during this step. Based on the core value they expressed in step two, and on their response to step three, choose what type of information they’re likely to resonate with.

“It may seem hard to believe, but the truth is that police officers simply do apply more force during interactions with Black community members. In fact, Black people are 2.5x more likely to be killed by the police that white people. Can you believe that?!” (This is a fact-based argument, which will work for more analytical people.)

“I know you care deeply about safety, especially as it relates to your children. Can you imagine having to teach your kindergartener what they need to do to avoid being hurt by a police officer? That’s what Black parents have to do every day in our country.” (This is an empathy-based argument, which will work for more feelings-based people.)

5. Keep the door open for more conversation.

If appropriate, let them know that you’re open to sharing more with them moving forward. And if the conversation went well, let them know what they can do/say instead of what they showed you in that moment. It can feel overwhelming to be told what you’ve done wrong without also being supported with information about what to do instead. This can also be a chance to share resources, and to ask if they need additional support to provide appropriate care in the future.

What we know about behavior change is this: in order for people to actually behave differently moving forward, they have to be able to look back on this intervention and have an overall positive feeling about it. That’s how we cement the change in their bodies.

“Thanks for being open to this. I know it can be hard to learn and change, and I really appreciate being able to talk with you. Let me know if you ever want to learn more-- I’m not perfect, but we can work through it together.”

If the conversation didn’t go well, keeping the door open can look like this:

“It sounds like we disagree on this point, which is okay! I still really value you in my life and am open to continuing this conversation whenever you like.”

Final Tips:

Know when to say “when.”

If at any point it’s clear that the person you’re talking to is not receptive to this conversation, leave. As an ally, you must conserve your energy, using it where it will be effective. If you spend all of your time and talent on people who aren’t listening, you will not have the capacity to actually make a difference with those who ARE listening.

Know your goal.

Sometimes, the point of an intervention isn’t to secure behavior change from the person you’re talking directly to. Sometimes, the goal is to show your children what it’s like to stand up for what you believe in. Other times, it’s to show other bystanders that the behavior you’re seeing isn’t acceptable. Just be clear with yourself about what your goal is, and take actions that contribute to that goal.

Do this live (not online).

This intervention tool, and nearly every tool like it, works best one-on-one and live. AKA not online!!! It is very rare for true change to happen on social media. You may establish that your goal is to set a tone/culture of antiracism in a Facebook group you lead, so perhaps you may choose to intervene when you see racist behavior there, or you may want to demonstrate to your family that not everyone agrees with Uncle Al when he posts those #AllLiveMatter memes. But do not expect actual behavior/attitude changes in a comments section. If you know the person who posted or commented, *pick up the phone and call them.* I know this is old-school, but it is so much more effective to actually hear your friend’s voice (and for them to hear yours) if your goal is behavior/attitude change.

I’ve been known to DM people to say, “Hey! I know it’s been a while, but I’m wondering if you have time for a quick phone call about your recent post. It’s really made me think about some things and I would like to share them with you.”

Choose one thing.

Rather than paint a picture of someone being “a racist” or defaulting to “you always” or “you never” language, choose ONE thing you want to talk with them about. This helps focus the conversation and allows them the opportunity to be accountable to one specific action or behavior they have engaged in.

Practice, practice, practice.

It’s likely that you have a lifetime of experience calling out systems of oppression and getting shut down. You probably have a physiological link between standing up for what you believe in and bodily experiences of anxiety, fear, shame, etc. It is perfectly acceptable to ask a friend or partner to practice this conversation with you before you have it. Work to make NEW connections between interventions and your brain/body. The more you do this, the easier it gets. And the more effective you are, the more your body understands that there isn’t always danger when you stand up for what’s right-- sometimes there is excitement. Sometimes a person will thank you for educating them. Sometimes you’ll see a light go on, a connection get made, an “ah ha” moment being created before your very eyes. You’ll know that you’ve made the world a better place in a concrete way, and that will motivate you to keep up the fight.